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It will be your turn when you wake up from your whimpering dream-state and begin to do the serious work -- and take the real social risks -- that it requires to have a real interaction with another real human being.You sound to me you are wallowing in what psychologists call learned helplessness... a state where you take a completely submissive posture towards life and feel you can do nothing other than hope, wish and pray that good things will happen to you -- and then you lie around whining and complaining when the gods fail to smile upon you.

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***VERY INTERESTING***

Dear David,

You say you want more insight from us girls? Alright, here goes. Maybe you can use some of this.

I had several dates with a guy recently -- I wasn't attracted to him, but I thought he was intelligent and easy to talk to, so I continued to see him hoping some sparks would flare up.

They didn't.

In fact, our last date was so bad that I cringe at the thought that I'll probably bump into him sometime soon. I'm pretty sure from his behaviour that he doesn't receive your emails, so I can share some of the memories with you:

1) He showed up late, never apologised, and then handed me a stuffed animal. Well, frankly, I'd rather he'd have shown up on time and skipped the dog. I actually don't like stuffed animals -- but he didn't bother to find that out.

2) Constant compliments. Every time we went out, he'd say, "You look great in [fill in the colour of my shirt]". Basically by complimenting me every single time on every piece of clothing, it just wasn't special, and it seemed contrived. Like a line that he felt he had to say as part of his dating ritual.

3) WAYYYYYYYYY too much cologne or aftershave. I actually felt sick -- I could taste it, it was so pungent. We took a cab to dinner, and I had to crank down the window (and it was pouring outside) to breath.

4) Total insecurity. At one point during dinner, he suggested I go home. I asked, "Wha...? Huh?" he said, "It's obvious that you're bored with me." Doh! How am I supposed to respond to that? In hindsight, I probably should've just followed his suggestion...

4a) Aside from the flowers, he had also volunteered to help me do some things that were...well, only stuff that a long-term boyfriend should be offering to do. "You're beating the dust out of your carpets? Do you want me to come over and help?" Um, no.

Another pet peeve...ok, this is getting picky, but it's just food for thought. Some friends and I were talking about another guy who constantly does this, and how much we hate it. This guy calls and always starts his conversation with:

"What are you doing tonight?"

This puts the person on the other end in a really awkward position. What is it that he wants? Does he want to join me? Do he really want to know what I'm doing tonight? Does he want to ask me out, or does he want me to walk his dog for him tonight? AND if I don't want to see him, I either have to make up a lie...or if I can't think fast, I have to tell him the truth (which I may not want to do, and which he may not want to know.) "Um...I'm having a bikini wax". If a guy wants to ask a girl out, he should ask her out. That means something along the lines of, "If you're not doing anything tonight, I'd really like to see you."

Just a woman's perspective..."

***MY COMMENTS***


I'm with you on all of this, except for the end... instead of a guy saying "If you're not doing anything tonight, I'd really like to see you" try "I'm doing something tonight, and you'd really like to see me..." It's funnier, cockier, and better! Seriously, thanks for the comments. Most guys don't realize how much it can turn a woman off to do all of these "nice" things. Reality check.